Top 5 Smart Ass answers of 2005

[akflyer 1427]

;5 Winning Smart Ass Answers For 2005

 

Smart Ass Answer #5:

 

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

 

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened

 

his trench coat and flashed at her.

 

Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not

 

your stub."

 

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Smart Ass Answer #4:

 

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but

 

she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,

 

"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

 

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

 

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Smart Ass Answer #3:

 

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding

 

rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop

 

said.

 

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." 

 

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a

 

ticket.

 

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Smart Ass Answer #2:

 

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that

 

reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead

 

of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

 

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to

 

the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

 

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of

 

gas."

 

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#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005.......................

 

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

 

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here

 

tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury

 

or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other

 

excuses whatsoever!"

 

A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What

 

would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter

 

sexual exhaustion?"

 

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was

 

restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head

 

and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your

 

other hand."